Valentine's Day 101

Valentine's season is upon us. So how do you know what to get your significant other in the vast sea of pink & red heart shaped things, that are drizzled in chocolate and tied together with cutesy sayings? My suggestion is to actually avoid the rows that are exploding of above items and follow the advice below.

For the Men...

1. Put Down the Red Roses

Last year 257 million red roses were sold on Feb. 14th.  However, realistically, few women would list red roses as their favorite flower. Instead, take the time to figure out what flowers are her favorite. Buying red roses makes her a statistic in the millions, but giving something unique to her personality will make her feel like the only one in the world. 

2. Price Doesn't Matter

So what do you get her? Candy? Stuffed animals? Jewelry? Flowers? A card? The choices can be overwhelming & daunting. Many boys can be seen exiting the stores having purchased everything in the Valentine's row, just to make sure they covered all the bases. Guys, you don't have to purchase all the above. Sometimes small gestures that are personalized to your girl can mean the most. Make something homemade, plan the perfect date, cook or clean or craft... time is the biggest investment for this day.

3. Listen. 

Basically every piece of advice I can offer is to really think about her favorite things. The only way you will know what she really likes or wants is to LISTEN to her. If you listen and she really wants that 5ft tall stuffed teddy bear and a dozen red roses, then go ahead! I have nothing against those things -- if the girl truly enjoys them.
PS: This piece of advice can really solve a variety of relationship problems so keep this one on file. 

4. Ask for Help

I give you permission to talk to her best friends. If you need help, or want to surprise her, they are the ones you will want to seek. Let them consult her Pinterest boards so you don't have to. Don't stress; help is out there. AND when they tell your woman how you went to them to help with surprise, she will be gushing about how cute you are. Bonus for you. 

And for the girls...

5. It Isn't a Competition

Put down the camera. Step away from the Instagram & Facebook. Posting a picture of everything received that day with the creative caption of "He's the Best", does not make it any more special. Love is individual to every couple. It's not a day to show off gifts and try to outdo others in your life. How about avoid social media all together and spend time with that guy you think is so wonderful. 

For both...

6.Valentine's Day is about Love. 

Even though the holiday has been over-commercialized, the center of the holiday is to show love to the people in your life. So above all other advice do just that. Show love to "the one" and everyone. And let that continue the other 364 days of the year too. It doesn't take Cupid for people to love & be loved. ❤️

Re-evaulate the "friend-zone"

Let's face it girls, we all have one. Both a friend zone, and the friends we put into it who treat us better than all the guys we've dated or liked, combined. Yet, we go around complaining that fairy tales aren't real life & Prince Charming is MIA. But here's the thing, the sweet, caring, gentlemen are the ones in that zone. They open the doors for us & we shut it right in their face. 

Instead, we tend to fall for guys that play hard to get & wonder why they are hard to keep. Or the ones who say all the right things, but then can't walk the walk. The players we think will want to surrender the game when they meet us. Or the guys who are more into themselves than anyone else. 

But here's the kicker: Boys that think they have nothing to lose will confidently hit on you, and as girls, we think, oh my gosh he noticed me, this is THE one. But ladies, it shouldn't be they have "nothing to lose". You are everything. And they shouldn't want to lose you....

Which is exactly what the guys in your friend zone have realized, and they are willing to wait years just for that reason. They don't want to let you go in any capacity, so they settle with just being your friend in order to stay in your life. 

The crazy thing is, that most successful marriages stem from being friends first. And yet, we overlook our friends in hopes of some love-at-first-sight experience with a "perfect" stranger. But the guys that get to know you, spend quality time with you, and make you laugh are the ones you need. So look at your friend-zone. 

He's probably there waiting patiently for you to see what's right in front of you.

And to boys that are stuck in that zone: It is possible to move your way from friend to Mr. Right. Trust me, the one I fell for waited 5 years... Urban legends do come true.