Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Head over Heels

Like the last leaf of autumn, 
Holding to its branch,
I cling ardently to you. 
As sure as the seasons change,
The breath of winter in the air,
It floats silently to the ground.
And I fall...

Looking into your eyes,
The pigments of gold flecks,
Wading in pools of jade,
I stand at the edge,
Wanting to swim in their depth,
To feel their waves crash around me,
And I fall...

Your outstretched arms always catch,
I'm forever caught up in you,
Head over heels,
More and more,
In love,
And I fall...

Something Old, Something New

The way the light catches your eyes. 
And a freckle I missed before.
Your hair waves more to the left today.
The sharpness of your jaw & cheeks.
A hard line blends into the curve of your smile. 

The way your muscles contract & bend. 
All the tones and variations of your laugh. 
A dimple and a wrinkle here. 
Noticing each expression on your face. 
And how your hand fits in mine. 

Ever say is new, but I've been here before. 
A déjà vu daydream with no end.
Waking up to the reality of you. 
Not forgetting, but remembering again. 

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Rush Hour & Rest

Driving through town today on one of the main streets in Lincoln, I was struck by the great irony that the center of this city is constructed around a cemetery. 

And I was saddened by the fact that this peaceful place of respect and silence is now feet away from shopping malls and fast food establishments. Most of us drive through it every day, and I would bet that most days we don't give it a second thought-- if we even notice it at all in the midst of our schedules. 

Although it's a beautiful sanctuary intended to be a hallowed ground; now a constant rush of busyness runs directly through it, stopping only to let monotonous routine pass by. 

We as people do the same thing. Focused on our daily repetition we barely open our eyes to the world around us. Instead of centering our hearts around heavenly peace, we let our very core become a place to bury our emotions. 

 And just like that cemetery, many of us close off sections of our heart, seal it behind walls, and put on our blinders whenever fate brings us along its iron gates. We let the distractions fill up the remainder of the map & hope that the more we build, the less we will remember the place of pain and sorrow in the middle. 

Maybe it's time we take a look at what we've built our foundation upon. Instead of constructing roads to zig-zag around our void, we need to remember that the only freeway to live on is actually a one way path straight to heaven. 

So let Christ become the center of your soul. Scale back. Breathe in and let him into your guarded defenses. Slow down. Be vulnerable. 

Your heart should be a place of peace and rest... But not lifeless. 

Monday, August 25, 2014

Perspective

Ironically, absence shows us what we really have, 
Giving us the chance to put the value back in reevaluate.  
We ask for wishes to be granted-- but instead we take them for just that. 
When we should remember that 'presence' is more important than 'presents'. 
Reminiscing only when pieces are missing...
It's when we lose something we really find everything. 
Perspective. 

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Tomorrow & Today

The shine of fresh skin on top of a knobby knee,
Her blue eyes look down, 
curious,
Her finger gets closer & closer,
not sure what will happen if she touches what's been rubbed raw,
She looks up, 
grinning as she proudly shows her dad her days work. 
She's tough; and she shows her scars to the world. 

Across the room,
the wrinkles on her brow tighten as she smiles at the little girl,
Jealous of her zest for life & the simple nature,
The woman's days have accumulated & dusted gray her whispy hair,
How she longs to have cuts as shallow,
But the years now show, 
Her head droops slightly as she turns away and looks out the window. 

And another sits, 
caught somewhere between the hope of the little feet swinging from the chair,
And the burden of someone who has seen this life;
She is youthful & somehow her soul is weathered.

She's had her heart broken and mended from laughter & tears,
She remembers when cheaters were just playground games,
She's seen ones fade away like the colors of fall,
And had some taken too soon,
She's traveled the world,
Made mistakes,
Giggled,
And loved another with her whole heart. 

As she sits between the child with the dimples in her cheeks,
and the woman of wisdom & grace, 
She can't help but feel like she has pieces of them both. 
Raw & exposed in some way or another,
And they are all connected, 
here & now,
in this place.

She didn't know what she was, 
or maybe she did.... 
She was content.
And she smiled to herself,
as she breathed in all that moment had to give. 

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

She Didn't Know

She faces towards the flawless moon,
Glancing at the boy by her side,
Breathless at the thought of something new,
Can't help but smile as she looks into his eyes.  

Her senses tingle as their fingers intertwine,
Summer breeze flushes her skin,
Beating heart, waiting for that sign,
To tell her it's safe to love again. 

Nervous as she wonders what's in store,
Could this be the one she's waited for? 

But she didn't know,
That in her hands she held the boy of her dreams. Protecting her was above all his other needs. Someday he wanted this girl to be his wife. Wanting her every day of his life. Just like every star in the sky, she can't count the ways...

She didn't know. 

What started as just friends,
Could lead to the fairy tale end. 
With romance & laughter,
They could find a happily ever after. 

But she didn't know.
That he was the one god had picked just for her, and being together made them both feel more whole.  
she loved him and that fact she was sure,
She had finally found the other half of her soul. 

And just like every star in the sky. She can't count the ways... 

That now she just knew. 

Friday, July 11, 2014

My Purpose

"To bring glory to God, through wholly giving of myself in service to others by using my talents and abilities with purpose,passion & love."

Saturday, July 5, 2014

Sleeping Beauty

Head on the pillow, 
Heart in the clouds.
Remembering the comfort of your smile & the shadow of your embrace.
Curled up in bed, but wrapped up in you. 

Slowly I fall. 
Tossing & turning,
I change my position, 
while you change me.  

The horizon promises tomorrow, 
But I cling to the stars above tonight,
Wide awake I slumber...

You're my favorite dream. 







Monday, June 9, 2014

Remembering 2015

It's funny how when you look back discover things you never realized you had -- hidden treasures you had forgotten a long time ago. A plane ticket, a eulogy, the friendship bracelets & wrinkled photographs depict the days gone by. Keepsakes & knick-knacks, junk & prized possessions all part of the items that you gathered over the year. But I think what you truly find in those pieces are the memories you've made. The items pile up making up the journey you've taken so far. 

As you reflect over the past year, you have the ability to look back and discover moments; creating a highlight real for 2015. 

Take a moment to be still and let the goodness of this past year wash over you. Smile; remembering the time you saw an elderly couple walking hand in hand down the street. Or the overwhelming joy of seeing your husband waiting for you at the alter. Re-live the pride you had in accomplishing your goal after putting in all the hard work. Remember every little time you felt happiness & soak in the sunshine & warmth left there in your heart.

But also, let yourself remember the not-so-good times, because you have to go through the dark to appreciate the light. Slip back to the time you were rude to a stranger, even though they didn't deserve it. Taste the anger on your lips as you spoke unkindly to someone who cares for you. Tears may well up as you remember a life taken too soon. Or regret may take form as you think about the time you let someone down by breaking a promise. Those moments define your year, too.

When it comes down to it, the tangibles you collect through the year aren't the things remembered in life. It's the people, who mold us, and shape us (for better & worse). Every giggle, emotion, compliment, piece of advice, shoulder to cry on, laugh and lecture leaves an imprint on your soul. And I think every person, gives you a piece of themselves to add to your heart--- the real collection to cherish. 

Don't lose the pieces you have now and never miss the chance to give of yourself for others to complete their puzzle; to make them feel whole. Because that's really what life is all about, holding on to each other and going through the journey together. 

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Whatever Happened to Romance?

Whatever happened to romance? I mean pure, selfless, head over heels, take-a-chance, show the world, beautiful, poetic romance.... I truly fear that our generation has completely missed out on the grandeur of love; hollowing it down and confining it to the limits of 140 characters.

In today's world, being "romantic" involves text messages and the words 'hang out'.  Facebook messages popping up 'hey' and tweeting, hoping your words are interpreted by your intended reader.  People being as indirect and vague as humanly possible to avoid being forward or getting hurt. I call it the sub-text of dating.

I'm not asking that everyday be like a fairytale. In fact, my wish for the world is to stop living in the fantasy and start being real and raw with one another. To get to know someone outside of the bubbles of a text message and the go-to LOL response. How about... Laugh out loud. With another person. In the same room.

You can tell the world the things you 'like' all over social media. So tell it to them. To their face. Not their Facebook...
 Stop thinking of everything in the terms of 'insta' and instead take your time.
Open doors. And close all the chats.
Send flowers, or balloons, or love letters, not friend requests.
Know their story. Don't watch it through Snapchat. Be apart of it.

Vow never to use the abbreviations, when language is limitless.

 Let's start to pursue the idea of pursuing...




Monday, May 12, 2014

My Personal Mission Statement


“Life is about making choices, and I believe that the choices you make in life define you as an individual. In my opinion, the greatest amount of character can be seen in someone that chooses to do the right thing, even if it means sacrificing personal gain. What one values is a direct response of the choices they make throughout their lifetime. So…
I choose to be genuine and true, so that my real colors are always what others see. Because of this I find extreme value in the quality of honesty, humility, and the ability to be trusted and depended upon.
I choose to work hard at every task I am given, until it is completed, so that in the end I appreciate the outcome even more. The reward is sweeter when your dedication, commitment, and work ethic help you achieve your objective.
I choose to maintain a positive outlook on life, by spreading joy to those around me. I believe in the pursuit of happiness; but not in yourself, instead I choose to bring kindness to everyone I meet. I want to pay it forward and make an impact for the betterment of our society.
I choose to walk by faith and uphold myself to the highest standards, so I can confidently represent the One who gave me this opportunity on earth. I choose to let my courage overcome my fears. I choose to hold my head high with dignity and class. Most importantly, I choose to love, for I believe that to be the purpose of life.”

Thursday, April 24, 2014

She Promised You Heaven.

They tell me you're gone, 
but everything I breathe is your life. 

A girl who's spirit can be felt in the sunshine,
Your love whispered in the summer breeze. 

You are every laugh, 
every smile, 
every ounce of joy, 
and the hope of tomorrow. 
Every time we pursue happiness, 
we chase after you. 

Until the end of here & now,
When we meet in forever,
I will look at the face I have memorized in my mind, 
and cling to your shadow, 
until I can feel your heart beating... ❤


In Memory of Rhiannon Peak
March 23,1992 --- April 24, 2012

Sunday, April 20, 2014

If There Are Words I Don't Have Them...

If there are words for Him then I don't have them. 
You see, my brain has not yet reached the point where it could 
form a thought that could adequately describe the greatness of my God, 
and my lungs have not yet developed the ability to release a breath 
with enough agility to breathe out the greatness of his love, 

and my voice, you see, 
my voice, is so inhibited, restrained by human limits 
that it's hard to even sing the praise of…  
You see if there are words for Him then I don't have them. 

My God, 
His grace is remarkable, mercies are enumerable, 
strength is impenetrable, He is honorable, accountable, favorable, 
He is unsearchable yet knowable, indefinable yet approachable, indescribable yet personal, 
He is beyond comprehension, further than imagination, constant thru generations, 
king of every nation. 

But if there are words for Him then I don't have them. 
You see, my words are few, and to try to capture the one true God, 
using my vocabulary will never do, 
but I use words as an expression, 
an expression of worship to a savior, 
a savior who is both worthy and deserving of my praise, so I use words. 

My heart extols the Lord, blesses his name forever, 
He has won my heart captured my mind and has bound them both together, 
He has defeated me in my rebellion, 
conquered me in my sin, 
He has welcomed me into his presence, 
completely invited me in. 
He has made himself the object of my sight, 
flooding me with mercies in the morning, 
drowning me with grace in the night. 

But if there are words for Him 
then I don't have them. 
But what I do have is good news, 
for my God knew that manmade words would never do, 
for words are just tools that we use to point to the truth, 
so He sent His son Jesus Christ as "The Word", living proof, 

He is the image of the invisible God, the first born of all creation, 
for by Him all things are created, giving nothingness formation, 
and by His words he sustains, in the power of His name, 
for He is before all things and over all things he reigns, holy is his name, 
so praise him for his life... 

The way, he persevered in strife, 
the humble son of God becoming the perfect sacrifice, 
praise him for his death... 

that He willingly stood in our place, that he lovingly endured the grave, 
that he battled our enemy and on the third day rose in victory, 

He is everything that was promised, 
praise Him as your risen king,
lift your voice and sing for one day he will return for us 
and we will finally be united with our savior for eternity, eternity. 

So it’s not just words that I proclaim, 
for my words point to "The Word" and "The Word" has a name, 
hope has a name, 
loye has a name, 
peace has a name, 
love has a name 
and that name is Jesus Christ. 

Praise his name forever!

*I didn't write this... But I love it!*

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Tick, Tock

We all have what must be used,
Saved by the same enemy,
The time on our clocks,
Ticking away our lives,
Heartbeats ❤️

My "Bucket" List

The following is a list of all the things I want to complete in my lifetime. In no particular I would like to...

Travel to Paris
Learn to play guitar
Save a life
Meet David Beckham
Toss a penny in the Trevi Fountain
Scuba diving 
Name a star
Feed a panda
Walk through a tulip field
Get a henna tattoo
Stomp grapes
Read all "the classics"
See the Wonders of the world
Play with a penguin
Hike up a mountain
Kiss the Blarney Stone
Write a song
Go to Cinderella's Castle
Visit my ancestors in Denmark
Get baptized
Go parasailing
Attend a music festival
Celebrate NYE in NYC
See a kangaroo in Australia
Fly 1st class
Take a hot air balloon ride
Go to a drive in movie
Write on Juliet's wall in Verona 
Take a picture with Audrey Hepburn & Marilyn Monroe's stars 
Learn another language
Be on the Today Show
Let go of a floating lantern
Get a belly button ring
Celebrate my 50th wedding anniversary
Walk through AOII Headquarters
See the magic at Harry Potter world 
Have an author sign their book


Here's a list of the ones I've already completed...

Kiss a stranger (Sorry mom!)
Take ballroom dancing lessons
Publish my writing professionally
Shop the Mall of America
Go on a missions trip
See a broadway musical
Be in 2 places at one time
Finish a color run 
Read the bible cover to cover in a year
Gamble in Vegas
Breakfast at Tiffany's 
Sing for hundreds of people
Run a 5k
RAKs on my birthday
Graduate from high school & college

Monday, March 3, 2014

22 Acts of Kindness 💜

In honor of my birthday, l decided to do one act of kindness for every year I've been alive. Throughout the week I worked to spread positivity & smiles throughout our community & campus... But I couldn't have completed them alone. So thank you to all my friends and family who helped & supported this campaign & who inspire me to be a better person everyday.

My hope, is that you'll be encouraged to pay it forward, living by example, writing Ephesians 4:32 on your heart: 
"Be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." 

Here's a list of the acts we did -- ideas for you to continue! :) 

1. Sent thank you notes to soldiers who have served our nation overseas. 
2. Purchased $1 lotto cards, attached them to a good luck note & then tucked them into the car handles of random cars in a parking lot. 
3. Left a gift card for the person behind me in the drive thru to pay for their meal. 
4. Surprised other people with birthday presents who had birthdays on the same day. 
5. Purchased new pajamas & slippers for a resident at a nursing home, who's family doesn't visit. 
6. Stuck $1 bills into books at our local Christian bookstore. 
7 & 8. Donated to a sorority sister's bake sale raiding money for her trip to Haiti --Then delivered the cookies to the workers at the homeless shelter. 
9. Left a candy surprise for the next person at the tanning salon. 
10. Wrote inspirational quotes on sticky notes & placed them around the community & campus. 
11. Taped a bag of unpopped popcorn on the Red box machine to complete a movie night. 
12. Donated clothing to Goodwill. 
13. Filled vending machines with quarters for the next person to use. 
14. Wrote thank you notes and bought flowers for the ladies who work in our cafeteria. 
15. Recycled plastic bottles from our residence hall. 
16. Sent a note of encouragement to a friend who lives far away. 
17.  Donated money to a fraternity fundraiser for ALS research in honor of a family friend who passed away due to that disease. 
18. Wrote a thank you & left candy for the custodian of our building. 
19. Purchased raffle tickets for friends, supporting arthritis research. 
20. Called the Homeless shelter to see what items they were in need of-- went to shop & purchase those things & delivered them to the shelter. 
21. Showed true forgiveness to someone who had hurt me in the past. 
22. Purchased donuts, wrote thank you notes and delivered them to our police station. 

"No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted." 

Friday, February 14, 2014

Fall Away

All we knew was falling. 
Descending,
Blissfully. 
Side by side,
floating away.

Needing a catch..

You got caught. 
Tangled up,
In her arms. 

so I kept floating...
Down, down. 

I didn't crash,
Or hit bottom,
Simply came to a stop.
Dramatics never were me.

Taking everything,
But planting a seed...
Doubt.
Tiny, it grows. 

And I did too, 
Blossoming,
Hopeful. 
Beautiful. 
Now I sit at the top of my tree,
Looking out & around,
Loving every season.
Yet afraid of one,

The fall. 

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Whittles & Wittiness

 

Wrapped in wrinkles,

A calloused hand,

Rough and cracked,

Works to expose beauty,

Carving out the pieces,

With his mastery,

Raw; like the man at work.

 

Age painted on his face,

Line by line,

But beat for beat,

The heart of a boy.

 

A dimpled smile formed through the repetition of a silly punch line.

Gray hair, sweeping just above the furrows of his brow.

Deep, unending eyes. Filled to the brim with love and compassion.

Looking up, transfixed on the One who formed each flaw.

Jolly, rosy cheeks flushed from a hearty laugh.

 

The finished character reflects the old carpenter better than any mirror.

 

Mr. Fix-it shakily stands and brushes the dust from his blue jeans & suspenders.

A style branded with humility.

His sole accessory, imprinting a 60 year tale upon his crooked finger.

 

A hallow knock sounds, as his cane counts the stairs ascending before him.

 

Pausing briefly he looks back at his handiwork.

A  collection on a shelf,

More than figurines,

But memories,

Life’s true keepsakes.



Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Perceptions of Change

Faded & fragile,
The pigments of summer etched across the driveway. 
A masterpiece,
Soon to be pieces in the afternoon breeze. 
Line by line,
Shaded in by youthful naviety. 
Her forever,
Threatened by a wisp, by the reality of tomorrow. 

Twirling in the rays. 
Drinking in the vigor, the warmth of today burns her skin. 
Behind her, a faithful companion. 
Protecting her back, until she turns around to face the day.
Running...
A tied race. Until darkness wins out, consuming the mine. 
Yet silence continues. 

The colors streak across the ashy sky,
Blurring the pane seen through the window. 
A warped promise, 
Bending perceptions of the here & now. 
She looks up,
The bent display, a miracle's reflection. 

When change is your only constant,
All that's temporary is permanence. 

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Sometimes Silence Speaks Volumes

Drinking in every drop of ink scratched across the page,
Every line. Every dot. 
Hoping for a hidden message. 

Tracing the loops with your fingers,
Memorizing the letters. 
The signature stamped on your heart, 
Imprinted. 

Yet the paper is cold.
The black font leaves it parched and dry.

Thirsty for a taste, a morsil of fulfillment. But the sustenance you crave disappears with every lifeless word.

Your eyes pour over each syllable until they blur together.
After awhile even the punctuation seems pointless.  

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Etchings of the Heart

"We are writers. Bleeding words, on pages that are always empty. Writing. Until our blood becomes ink, and our fingers become pen. Writing. Until the simple act becomes breathing."

I've come to believe there are no such things as empty words. Or miscommunication. Letters become syllables, making words, forming sentences, connecting us to the pages.

This is a place to share the etchings and scribbles that have been written on my heart. ❤️

This is the beginning; ending unplanned.